Last week, at the encouragement of my friends Richelle and Chris, I decided to set out little goals for myself (milestones if you will) that will help me overcome my fears of motherhood. First on the list - taking Noah out to lunch...without John. You see, I always felt that I had to have John right next to me every time I took Noah anywhere, to help me feel calm and secure. Last time we took Noah to lunch, I was just so paranoid - I was sure that at any moment, Noah was going to start throwing a fit and cry uncontrollably and everyone in the restaurant was going to look at me and think I was a bad mother. It turns out that I had nothing really to worry about that day, but that still didn't stop me from scarfing down my food in record time and insisting that we go home ASAP.
So last week, Chris, Richelle, and I all took Noah out for lunch. It wasn't so bad really. Sure, he did cry a little, but I was still able to enjoy lunch with my friends. While we were there, I decided to try another milestone - changing his diaper in a public restroom. This is yet another irrational fear that I had - not being able to successfully change his diaper while others mothers looked on, judging me for my lack of skills. Of course, deep down, I know this is ridiculous - I've changed his diaper numerous times already, but the idea of putting him on some foreign changing table had me fearing that somehow, this time it would be different and I would forget everything (have I mentioned that this was an irrational fear?) Anyway, that task went without a hitch. Two milestones accomplished in one day - I was on a roll.
The next day, I decided to take him for a walk around my neighborhood. This milestone was easy enough. We had ourselves a nice little stroll around the lake where I live. I pointed out all the geese and trees to Noah while he slept, oblivious to my attempts to keep him entertained. Oh well, it was good exercise for me.
After our walk, I set a goal to take him to the mall the next day. It would have been milestone #4. However, that afternoon, Noah kept spitting up. A LOT. And it was filled with mucus. Worried, John and I decided to take him to our pediatrician that evening. Turns out, Noah had his first cold. Poor thing. That night was miserable trying to get him comfortable enough to go to sleep. Needless to say, the milestones were put on hold until Noah felt better.
A couple nights ago, our local mall was having a celebration to kick off the holiday season, which included musical performances followed by the lighting of the Christmas tree and a fireworks display. John and I somehow manage to miss this event every year, but I really wanted to make it a goal this year to go and I thought it would be even more fun to take Noah with us. So we set out to accomplish milestone #4 - taking Noah to the mall, just the two of us. We've taken Noah to the mall a few times before, but each time we had my parents with us, which always made me feel calm because I had two experienced parents with me who could help me out if I began to feel overwhelmed. But the other day, I was feeling confident. So John and I set out to the mall with our bundled little bundle of joy. We had a really great time (at least John and I did - Noah was completely knocked out the whole time, even during the fireworks - thank goodness!) It'll surely be fun to take him to events like this in the years to come.
5 Weeks Postpartum
What I'm Wearing:
Sweater from the Gap
